Attention Grabbers!!

If a complete stranger came and knocked on your front door and demanded that you go with them to look at their new car or dragged you out of your house and forced you to go inside their new shop, don’t you think you might get a bit upset. Why is it then that so many people act that way on facebook

Why should I give you my attention?

How many times have you had someone send you a friend request on Facebook and then straight away before you’ve had time to take a second breath they have asked you for something, demanding your atention, whether its to check out their group, look at their website, join their MLM program or Get rich Quick scheme. What these people maybe fail to realise is their approach is getting them entirely the opposite results than they might expect. The reason being is they fail to see the message they are sending from the other side or think a little bit about who they are sending to. Without having this view you assume that the whole world will naturally be interested in everything you are doing and you demand that they give you attention.

Relationships first – deals second

Trying to sell yourself or your products without first taking the time to build some sort of relationship is not going to be the most effective strategy in today’s web 2.0 world.

Serve others first and you will be rewarded

When you friend someone don’t ask them for something straight away, take the time to send a personal message and ask what you can do to help them. If you want to get your self really noticed then you are going to have to learn to give before you receive. This will instantly set you apart from everyone else and will show that you are actually interested in them and not just in serving yourself or your business. Serving others is one of the highest virtues you can adopt and is one of the quickest ways to have your own needs met as well. People will always remember you in a positive light and that is what can influence them to open your emails, listen to your sales messages and buy your products or services in the future. Attention is one of the most valuable commodities that all businesses are competing for.

Don’t be too aggressive

Once you have their attention and you have started a conversation you can decide if you want to mention what It is you are promoting. If you are too aggressive in your marketing or sales approach you can turn people off very quickly It’s easy to spot people who are not genuine so be very careful here and make sure you do this in a skilful way, a casual mention of what you have to offer can be much more powerful than the direct approach. People hate being sold to but they do like to buy. If you position yourself in the right way, you can be the person they choose to go to when they are ready.

Consider Starting you own group

If you want to get a targeted group of people all in one place then consider forming your own group, you can invite all your friends and in this way, only the people who are interested will be subjected to your marketing messages and they have the option of leaving the group at any time. Selling directly to new friends via their profile, instant messenger or wall is one of the quickest ways to start losing friends and as spam becomes more widespread more people are becoming less tolerant of unsolicited messages in their inbox.

I join a lot of groups to see what they have to offer, one thing I have noticed is the difference between how some of the group leaders treat their members.

The Trusted Friend

Some Facebook groups send me a continual stream of messages promoting this product or that service, I have to admit that I tend to ignore most of them, Its like I almost don’t see or hear anything of what they are communicating, I filter it out and it just goes in the noise and distraction file. There are however a few group leaders who have adopted a different strategy, they keep sending me useful information and good links to things I am interested in, and they have a totally different way of communicating. It’s not that they never try and sell me something its just they do it in a different way so I don’t mind because I have placed them in a different file, that of the trusted friend. If you are networking, planning on using facebook to promote your business or you would like to start your own Facebook group in the future, I think there is an important lesson to learn here.

Share a Part of Your Life

Take Travis Greenlee as a good example, he was the person who inspired me to start the Facebook Made Easy group, His videos impressed me so much that I wanted to share them with as many people as possible. He has carefully positioned himself as a thought leader, and highly respected businessman here on Facebook, a person to look up to and one who sets the standards for others to follow. Notice how he is also sharing a part of his personal life too, uploading his home videos. This is a great relationship building strategy and allows you to connect in a way that you could never do personally to so many people.

Another person who always sends interesting content is Russell Birtwistle, He runs his business from Thailand , I look forward to his network marketing group emails because he shares a lot and tries to educate you to understand how he approaches his business and what tools he uses to stay successful and to stand out from the rest of the crowd. Just today he sent an enticing email describing his lifestyle and his love of fine food and golf. This style of marketing is very effective, how many people do you think there are who would like to trade places and live a similar life in paradise. These are all his potential customers who are being reeled in by his interesting stories, his direct honesty and transparent openness.

Another Facebook Leader who I admire is the copywriterr Jim Turner. Last week I was reading an article in his blog , Pit Bull Marketing where here he was talking about these same issues. I asked Jim if I could quote directly from his article and he agreed

“First off, your group or JV opportunity has to be focused on something that I’m interested in. If you can’t get past that hurdle, forget it! “

“People in general are very self-centred. So when you put together your pitches or group invitations you need to make sure you let the reader know what’s in it for them… and it has to be believable.

Once you get me in your group – the real work starts. You see, now you’ve got to keep me there. The best way to do that is keep feeding me information that I can use and benefit from… not more and more pitches.”

“I would like to hear from you no more than a couple of times per week. Anything above that and you run the risk of annoying your members. Annoyed members hit the remove link real fast.”

“it’s important that you know that I’m not against offering a product or service to me or your group members. I realize most of us are in business – that means that at some point a financial transaction must take place, or we won’t be around very long.

But be willing to provide training and educational resources pertaining to how to be successful with what you’re promoting.”

To read the whole article you can follow this link – or you can joins Jims group Social Media Marketing Mastermind

Don’t be a Spammer

So remember don’t keep messaging your group 3 times a day. Most people find it annoying and if you are not giving any value or content and only self promoting what you are doing is Spam and not only will Facebook flag your account and send you a warning but you will also damage your reputation with all your friends. Spend the time to develop relationships with your group and your friends. Be respectful, these are real people so treat them that way.

Build Solid Foundations

Don’t think of Facebook and social networking only as a way to make a quick buck. Think about it as a long term business strategy , lay the foundations in the right way and you will have people visiting your house every day. Ignore this vital stage and whatever you build will likely come crashing down around you and all your hard work wasted.


  1. Bonnie Cranmer says:

    Valuable content here, Ian. Thanks for sharing a thoughtful approach to social media marketing.

  2. Totally agree with bonnie Ian, brilliant content, and thanks for sharing, got some good inspiration from your site…

  3. Jeannot says:

    For sure this is true, I agree 100%…
    You must – all marketers – must learn how to approach people, unfortunately, all get rich schemes or leaders will teach you -once you sign up for them-
    how to find people interested in your products, but they never teach you how to approach them , and this for sure turns off targeted people even if they are interested in your products!

  4. Wendy Krick says:

    100% awesome article. Thanks for posting.

  5. Sonia Miller, BBA, MSW says:

    Hi Ian,

    Thanks for your great post. I’m in your FBME group and have been laying low trying to get a feel for how exactly to benefit from FB the way everyone says you can. I’ve been bombarded by lots of requests right off the bat, which has left me scratching my head. Your post was very validating. Keep up the great work!

  6. Amanda Risi says:

    Hi Ian, Great post, thank you. I agree I have found it much more rewarding to share something of my own life with friends I make and people I network with on FB and other social networking sites, … something of my own experiences and that of others. Discussing matters of global importance and local relevance, chatting about things that can make a difference in all our lives makes the relationship worthwhile. Sure there are things in my pipeline I would like to promote, things I see value in and would like to share. And I believe … all in good time! Thanks again for being a great inspiration and shining example. ♫ Amanda Risi

  7. Hi
    Totally share your views. If you take a quick visit to my main group (Starting out in business) I have specifically asked people not to send sales pitches to members or to advertise on the Wall products/services that are not immediately relevant to someone starting a business. My dilemma is – does it sound a bit snooty and, what do I do when members introduce themselves but blatantly advertise (and often at length) their services/products which are not immediately of interest to someone starting out in business ???

  8. Thanks, Ian.
    It is good to know I am not the only one that feels the same. I get more messages on facebook than I do email now. I have unsubscribed from a few groups because of it. In particular I am tired of being bombarded with MLM opportunities.
    On the other hand I have been neglectful of my group. I guess people don’t leave the group as long as it’s not in their face, but I should be providing more valuable content, as you are, and building a relationship.
    Thanks for the reminder of what I should be doing.

  9. feng shui harmony says:

    A good approach doesn’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. You are absolutely right. In your face is just not pretty, is it? Its a total turn-off!

    Great article.

    Thanks for you insights…

    Anna Maria

  10. Derick Yung says:

    Ian, great post! I’ll share your post with my masterminds group…

  11. inthistogether says:


  12. Traffic2MyPage says:

    i totally agree with you ian

    i reviewed your site on stumbleupon so i hope that brings you more traffic

    i must admit i was guilty of everything you wrote in this post… and i knew i wasn’t doing it right though i persisted and i would cringe inside cause i had learnt all this in uni…

    thanks for reminding me of again.. sometime that is all one needs

  13. Thanks Ian, I could not agree more with what you are saying alot of people forget that you are marketing youself, first and foremost. The relationship is important to build and gain trust with each other. I have started a sports blog and enjoy writing about sports on it. It is one of my passions.
    If you are interested in sports, have a look.
    I am also involved with a group that specializes in online marketing education. I have learned quite a bit with my involvement in the group. It can be useful to the newby and the seasoned vet. If you would like more information or may just want to check out the conference room, let me know. Login as a guest of mine (Walter)

    I look forward to hearing from you,
    To Your Future
    Walter Webb
    Skype: walter.webb1
    905 866-6355
    Facebook Walter Webb

  14. Mike (HC) says:

    I must admit, I am seriously considering kicking out some of my Facebook “friends”.

    The amount of rubbish I get on my various walls is getting to be ridiculous and I don’t need them on my profile page. It takes several minutes to delete them, so I will have be quite radical about posts in the future.


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