Leverage Your Friends on Facebook


While some people are rushing to build a huge friend list, and others are feeling overwhelmed as their inbox fills up faster than they can clear it. How many of you have taken the time to go back to those relationships you established right at the beginning when you didn’t have so many friends.

Re-Connect With Your Existing Friends

If you have over 200 friends you are already at the point where you might have problems managing all the friendships and relationships you have developed. Recently I have been getting messages from people I met a few months ago on facebook, people who I had a really good connection with and had found we shared a lot in common. Somehow with all the other demands for my attention I neglected many of those relationships and only now realise the value in them that I need to go back and cultivate

Leverage Your Existing Platform

Jay Abraham a very famous business guru and marketing wizard often suggests to his clients that instead of looking for new customers that they look at their existing customer base, the people who have already bought from them and work out ways to build on that relationship and sell them other products and services, what is often termed in sales as the Back End.

Segregate You Friends

I want to explore this concept and apply it to facebook friends and contacts that you might have made on other social networking sites. If you have been carefully segregating your friends onto smaller lists this task will be a lot easier as you will already have all your most important and valuable contacts grouped together by business niche or common interest. If you haven’t done this then I suggest you adopt this strategy immediately as it helps to keep your friends list more manageable and also allows you to quickly find important people again.

Back And Forth Exchanges

I would like to suggest that you make it a regular part of your social networking to go back and re-establish those friendships and contacts that you made in the past and see if there is any way that you can be of service. To build a real relationship takes more than a single wall post when someone has accepted you as a friend. It takes time to nurture and establish trust. Noticing what other people are doing and giving them your attention is a good beginning.

Lessons From Marketers

Direct Response Marketers noticed that the average number of exchanges before a customer bought from them was between 5 and 7 times. This is where the power of following up leads really comes into play and by building in automatic sequences and email exchanges so that those contacts and touches are carried out they dramatically increased their conversions.

I suspect that what applies in direct response marketing also applies to Facebook friends. And while I am not suggesting you adopt an automated strategy to go and turn all your friends into customers I think the same principles apply to building relationships.

What the marketers discovered and took advantage of was the natural tendencies of human beings and the process of how they establish trust and rapport through repeated contacts.

If you only use your friends as platforms to promote yourself and their walls as a free advertising space you might find when you really need them they are not so willing to co-operate.

Viral Visibility

One way that I find very powerful is to use the Notes feature in facebook, I have set it to pull in all my blog posts onto my facebook profile. Each time I publish something it pushes out into my newsfeed and all my friends newsfeeds. For a great summary of how to do this check out Mari Smiths blog post

The next step is to tag a few friends in the note, it’s a way to show that you remember them and also to show that you appreciate their opinions and comments. You are providing a platform for them to express themselves and also allow them to get to know your other friends who you also tagged.

Make Your Network More Powerful

This is a way to make your network much more powerful because when all your important friends and contacts know each other and regularly interact together you increase the viral effects that any of your actions will have. Brian Campbell explained The mathematical theory behind this and other important strategies In his trainings for premium members of the Social Media Marketing System. And we proved it through real time observations when building Facebook groups I will be summarising this in my Facebook Advanced Strategies handbook that I am currently writing so I wont go into detail here, you will just have to believe me when I say that its true.

Share what you find beneficial

If you get tagged in someone’s note, its always good practice to press the share button, of course only share a post if you feel it will add some value to your other friends. You can share directly to your profile or you can select specific friends, this is your chance to connect more people and draw them into the conversation

Sharing Is Important

This is a feature that most people don’t really use, I have only noticed the really effective social networkers using this strategy on a regular basis. Often they are people who have their own blog and understand how the viral effects of facebook work. You can do this for Videos, Groups, Events, anything that you discover to be of value. Facebook is so cluttered with junk that it takes this type of peer voting to allow the quality content to rise to the top.

Become a Connecting Node

Even if you don’t have your own blog and don’t feel comfortable writing or making videos if you regularly use the share button you will build up a resource of useful information on your profile page that any new friends can instantly have access to. They will keep returning to you because you are acting as a an important connecting node.

Study Your News Feed

Get into the habit of studying your news feed every day and see what pops out, facebook is so cleverly designed that you can even adjust the setting and tell them which friends you want to hear more about.

Using your segregated friend lists go and adjust your settings and push the sliders to the top for the people you care about. Take the time to participate in conversations and always thank people when they have taken the time to leave a comment. Study how some of the social media experts operate. copy the essence of how they communicate but infuse it with your own style and personality. Be original, have a sense of humour, look at any messages that made you take notice. What was special about it? Why did it leave such an impact on you?

Press That Share Button

The objective in any social network is to keep the information and communication flowing smoothly. This means that anyone, regardless of how little time they have for their facebook activities can play their part in making this happen. Every time you see the share button make sure you press it. It is giving you as much visibility as the the person or information you are sharing . It’s a way of paying it forward that will pay you dividends in the long run. Then send a mesage out on Twitter and update your status in Facebook. If you have all your systems linked together by pingfm or hellotxt this becomes even easier.

Go on do it now, what are you waiting for…..?

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  1. william2233 says:

    Thanks for the tips, any little bit of help to get my name out helps.
    from a child author

  2. Hi Ian, thanks again for another eye opening post – could you recommend further resources on the above topics, especially the share feature ?

    Glen Crosier

  3. Sophie Hovdekorp says:

    Hi Ian.
    I was beginning to think I was crazy or thinking wishfull thoughts.

    I saw a bar sometime ago where I could turn up and down the status rank for my friends. But now I can’t find the d….. thing.
    Could you elaborate on how to find this feature? I think I saw it for all friends

    I even deleted two friends because I didn’t want to see their updates all the time.

    I think you have a very good point here. You have to use systems to maintain the important friendships so they can benefit both parts.

    All the best

  4. addytseng says:

    Hey Ian!
    You answered a question I had in my head – why do you tag people on posts? I remember I was chatting with you about a post and you said, hang on, I’ll tag you so you can read it. I saw what it did but didn’t understand why it’s used. Now I know.
    I also understanad the Share button now. I had ignored it all along.

  5. Be a Goddess music says:

    good post there ! I have nearly 14000 friends on myspace alone and it is hard to juggle them all. ty

  6. Carla Clayton says:

    Great information that I will use. I have a few questions. How do you tag? What does that mean?

    Also, do you have some suggestions on how to segregate your list?


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